The age old question. I wish I knew the answer.

The profound or philosophical answer is that I am here to question that exactly; to question my existence, to ask why I am here, isn’t it?

Go back to fucking kindergarten with that shit. That ancient Roman/Greek bullshit is snake oil for the soul. A shortcut, packaged as enlightenment.

Plato and Aristotle and the others were a bunch of horned-up, paedophilic winos.

The aura of Aurelius couldn’t have been more “blonde-guy in a sweater vest from Good Will Hunting” vibes if his so-called stoic ass depended on it. Any half-dead being, with even the smallest amount of consciousness, undergoes some sort of existential crisis eventually. Those men were not groundbreaking, they contributed nothing of value.

They came to no conclusions or questions that every man, woman, child, or otherwise does not also inherently conclude or question.

They were not revolutionaries. They were self-absorbed, child-loving, sheet-wearing conceits who had the method and means of leaving enough evidence of themselves that we revere them as such. Ego in archeologic form. All while pretending not to be.

Theirs was not the first time in history that these ideas were considered. The civilizations and peoples ravaged by theirs probably could have told you that.

And you know, if not for the conquest and destruction and pedophilia, I’d probably just let ‘em have it. A lot of the culture that I associate with them and those days actually sounds pretty great. Who isn’t down for orgies and intoxicants in high society, or being fanned with grape leaves while getting blown out in the open? Sign me up!

It’s the regard we hold for these people, and everything we selectively omit when referring to them, that’s the shit that frustrates me probably more than it should.

Admittedly, I’m pretty ignorant of the reality of any of this.

I am sure that the understanding I have of the world then is more than a little flawed by Hollywood. I haven’t read enough books or anthropological journals on the subject to validate any of this. I am admittedly, unreasonably, talking out of my ass.

Nonetheless, the so-called “great minds” of those days can choke on those fucking dicks and grapes. How about them apples.

So, back to my original question. If not to philosophize or question it, then why am I actually here?

I’m still working on that one. I got distracted by all that orgy talk and lost track of it all. I’ll have to recoup and think on it for little while.

first to know. distracted by all that orgy talk and lost track of myself for a minute there. I’ll have to recoup and think on it a bit more.

When I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

When I figure it out you’ll be the first to know.